An old friend from high school reconnected with me recently, thanks to the wonders of Facebook. We laughed a lot when we hung out together in high school, and he thought we could pick up where we left off. I doubted it. Most of the time we were together – almost 50 years ago! – we were drunk.
Since then, I have become a Christian. He continued to get drunk. After a few moments of “Wow!” “It’s certainly been a while” and “How have you been?” we planned to meet and reestablish our long lost friendship. And we met. And we laughed. But we both realized that things (meaning him and I) had changed.
He knew I would become a Christian. The last time we saw each other face to face, I introduced him to the gospel and gave him a book about the resurrection. He told me that John Lennon shaped his religious views and that “God is a concept by which we measure our pain.” He visits Strawberry Fields, Lennon’s memorial in Central Park, every time he returns to New York.
Today, I continue to pray for him, contact him by phone and email, and talk about dating when I’m nearby (we now live over 1,000 miles apart). other). I am convinced that I need to continue some pre-gospel conversations with him before he is ready to hear the gospel in a way that can penetrate him. I tried the direct evangelism approach several times, and it didn’t work. I need another strategy.
Most of us need another strategy to reach the unsaved people around us. If there was ever a time when “people were ready to receive Christ” (and I doubt it was ever that simple), that time is over. But where to start ?
Here are three pre-evangelism strategies that might help your friends move on from “Are you crazy?” » Christianity is ridiculous, narrow-minded, homophobic and stupid! to “Well. . . maybe I need to rethink that” to “OK, I wasn’t fair in the way I classified religious people” to “Alright, I’ll take a look at that book about God that you mentioned ‘have given. »
1. Level the playing field
Sometimes our non-Christian interlocutor feels superior to us. They may think they are intellectually superior because, they assume, all Christians are simpletons, anti-intellectual, anti-science, or just plain stupid. (In some cases, they have seen strong evidence to support this bias.) They believe that science “proves things that religion cannot” and is the best basis for knowledge.
Or they may feel morally superior to Christians. They see themselves as open-minded and tolerant, but see Christians as narrow-minded and exclusive.
Before we can tell them that they need to repent and be born again, we may have to show them that they too are narrow.
Before we can tell them that they need to repent and be born again, we may have to show them that they too are narrow. In fact, with enough conversation, we can show them that Christians are in fact more more open-minded than them. It takes work, time and patience. But it is absolutely crucial, otherwise our presentation of the gospel will fall on deaf ears.
We can level the playing field by asking people how they came to believe that science is a better basis of knowledge than faith. Their trust in science is a belief grounded in faith. This cannot be scientifically validated. We want them to see that we are similar: we both believe by faith. Now we want to compare our beliefs. We also need to realize that we both have doubts and compare our doubts.
2. Adjust the thermostat
Some conversations about the Prince of Peace can disturb the peace. Sometimes people come off as angry, sarcastic, or harsh on both sides of the exchange. Our current political climate terribly exacerbates the problem. In some cases we need to emphasize it, take a deep breath, and ask ourselves if we need to take a break.
It might look like this:
“You look pretty upset about all this.” Why do you think this is so disturbing?
Or
“Wow. I think I hit a nerve. Should we change the subject?
Or
“It’s difficult to talk about this kind of thing. Is not it ? I would like to try to continue. But I wonder if we can do it with a little less anger. What do you think?”
In today’s overly sarcastic, often dismissive, and worrying age, we would do well to reflect on the wisdom of Proverbs’ insight that “a gentle answer turns away wrath” (Prov. 15:1).
3. Depress the clutch before shifting gears
Sometimes we need to have a conversation about the conversation. Before we launch into a discussion about religion (often considered the worst taboo), we may need to ask permission to do so. Or we might need introduce something they will accept to pave the way for something they resist.
It’s like pressing the clutch in a car with a standard transmission before changing gear. I realize that this illustration may be too outdated for some people. If you’ve never driven a car with a stick shift, accept this: if you don’t do a prerequisite task (pressing the clutch), you won’t be able to accomplish the important task (shifting gears).
Some conversations about the Prince of Peace can disturb the peace.
Here’s what it might look like:
“I realize that some people avoid discussions about faith. But I wonder if you would like to try. Could we have a cup of coffee sometime and compare our beliefs? »
Or
“You asked me some questions about my views on sexuality. I’m certainly willing to try and answer as best I can. But first I have to say that you shouldn’t be surprised if my opinions are unpopular. Christian views on sex have always been in the minority.
Or
“I think the subject of faith is more complicated than what fits on a bumper sticker or in a tweet. But I would still like to talk about it. Would you like?”
More than 50 years ago, Francis Schaeffer wrote: “Pre-evangelism is not a gentle option. » He was speaking to secular, disenchanted Europeans who had long abandoned Christianity. But he touched many people with the gospel and witnessed many dramatic conversions. His approach must be integrated more than ever into our evangelization efforts. I definitely need to try these ideas with my old friend.