“You belong here.”
We find these words on the walls of fitness clubs, in social media groups and in coworking spaces. From psychologists and therapists to retail store advertisers, everywhere we turn there are promises of belonging. Why has this need become a trending topic and marketing appeal in our culture? We are busy, lonely and overwhelmed. Building and maintaining relationships is much harder than it should be.
How can we find our place in a culture like ours? What, if anything, do the Scriptures say about belonging? And how might believers and Christian churches cultivate places of belonging?
Basic human need
Belonging is a basic human need. Beyond food and shelter, nothing promotes human flourishing like having a people and a place. Research confirmed that income level, marriage and children, and perceived security all pale in comparison to belonging in promoting lasting happiness in life. We long to belong. And we need a deeper belonging than the world can offer. True belonging means being fully known and fully loved by God and others.
True belonging means being fully known and fully loved by God and others.
About seven years ago, I had lunch with a church member and he mentioned to me that his previous graduate research (in educational theory) focused on belonging. I admitted that I had no idea what that meant. He explained that throughout the 20th century, the dominant psychological hypothesis held that individuals were more fully satisfied when they had a high sense of self-esteem, that is, when they believed in themselves. themselves and had high self-esteem. But subsequent research came to a surprising conclusion: Self-esteem had little or no positive effect on individuals’ lives, and for many, it had a negative effect.
This has led researchers to ask: if not self-esteem, what quality is most identified with satisfaction and well-being? In 1995, social psychologist Roy Baumeister published a substantial article which demonstrates that the healthiest and most satisfied individuals in life are those who have a place of belonging. Our deepest satisfaction comes not from the acquisition of personal autonomy but from acceptance in unconditional love and an indissoluble bond with a people.
As Christians, we do not find this surprising. The Bible shows us that we were created in the image of a relational God, who belonging is an important blessing of life in God’s familyand that even our best human relationships remind us of our ultimate relationship: communion with God.
Belonging to biblical history
Belonging has deep roots in biblical history and Christian theology: we belong to God and his family through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.
The Bible invites us to something much deeper than simple religious belief. God’s great story shows us that He created us to know Him, worship Him, and dwell with Him forever. Yet our sin has broken this relationship. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve’s sin caused a breakdown in the most beautiful of relationships, and they were estranged from the immediate presence of God. But even then, a promise was made: You are my people and I will bring you back to me (see Genesis 3:1-24).
Many years later, God spoke to Abraham and promised to make him a great people. Although Abraham had no children and had no idea where God was leading him, he received another promise: You will be my people and I will be your God (see Genesis 12:1-3 and 15:1-6).
Income level, marriage, children and perceived security pale in comparison to belonging in promoting lasting happiness in life.
Still later, God’s beloved people were enslaved in Egypt by a brutal oppressor. Once again, God has spoken a promise of blessing: I am your God and I will make you free to worship and dwell with me (see Ex. 3:1-15).
Even centuries later, David and Solomon built a temple in Jerusalem, and God filled it mightily with his presence. For Israel, this was a new phase in the fulfillment of God’s promise: I am your God and you are my precious people (see 2 Chronicles 7:1-22).
Throughout the Old Testament, God remained with his people, and they belonged to him, but something more was needed. God’s people could not keep His laws and could not save themselves.
Belonging to Jesus
By sending his Son, God made a way for us to remain with him forever. Jesus, the eternal Son of God, took on flesh and entered into our darkness, our loneliness and our despair. He kept the law perfectly, thus fulfilling its righteous requirements. Throughout His earthly life, Jesus honored the Father and served the poor and needy with the power and compassion of the Spirit. Yet His ultimate mission was to bear the price of our sins by dying on the cross. He lived the life we couldn’t live and died the death we deserved to die. But above all, Jesus suffered the worst possible loss: he bore all the wrath of God, abandoned according to his Father’s plan (Mt 27:46; Mark 15:34).
Then, on the third day, the sun rose, the darkness fled, and the Son of God came out of the tomb. Jesus appeared to his disciples and friends; he shared a meal with them and promised to always be with them. The mission was complete. He came to free the captives, form a new family, atone for our sins, and clear the way for us to return to God. Jesus then ascended to heaven and gave his Holy Spirit to his disciples. They were now full of his presence and would never be alone again.
We who believe in Christ and turn from our sins are welcomed with open arms by the Father and filled with the Holy Spirit. Jesus suffered the greatest pain: being abandoned by the Father…so we never have to. He was plunged into darkness so that we could walk in the light. Jesus was abandoned so that we could be included. He suffered deep loneliness so we could belong forever.
Belong to the Church
From now on, all God’s children belong to his family forever (John 8:35).
We who believe in Christ and turn from our sins are welcomed with open arms by the Father.
In Christ we are one body, and each member belongs to all the others (Rom. 12:5). We do good to all, especially to those who belong to the family of believers (Galatians 6:10). We cannot stop belonging to the body (1 Cor. 12:15-16). At the end of time, we will be among the diverse multitude in the ultimate and eternal place of belonging: the holy city (Revelation 21-22).
This is the message of true belonging from Scripture: we belong to God, not to ourselves or to the world. Belonging to God means that we find our place within this family, the Church.
This article is adapted from Why do we feel alone in church? by Jeremy Linneman (TGC/Crossway, October 2023). Buy via TGC Bookstore Or Amazon.